empty yourself & let the universe fill you.

I’m so overwhelmed everyone is being so nice to me tonight I’m literally… being killed with kindness

Call the police

U r da beautiful one <3 thank you thank you!!!!

U r da beautiful one <3 thank you thank you!!!!

I’m settin up a lil art studio in my brothers room and he jokingly told me that I was “”renting the space erryday from 9-5”” and I was like “”“u better be talking about 9 PM to 5 AM, not 9 AM to 5 PM bc…. Girls gotta work on her own (((fucked up))) schedule”“”

Rough life man

Rough life man

oH MY GOD ANd this amazing compliment is coming from a Literal Actual Real Life Goddess who just did an amazing real life photoshoot wow tHANK YOU SO MUCH VI ily ily so much you&#8217;re the most beautiful angel in the universe~

oH MY GOD ANd this amazing compliment is coming from a Literal Actual Real Life Goddess who just did an amazing real life photoshoot wow tHANK YOU SO MUCH VI ily ily so much you’re the most beautiful angel in the universe~

Note to Friends: even when your interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships are Not Good and when your confidence in your artistic talent is Not Good, and a lot of things are Not Good, you can still Look Good~

Experimenting with coffee and the blender with Josh :-)

The Perks of Being the Best Friend of the Daughter of a Florist/ Event Decorator:
In these past 24 hours, I’ve made 200 rhinestone covered napkin rings ((((unpictured))) & 65 rhinestone candle holders

Fifth Harmony - We Know (Live Acoustic)
19,230 plays
64 plays

I feel terrible about being so overly dramatic and sensitive about things that go in my life
When the other day a plane got shot down by separatists from a country in a conflict that had nothing to do with the people on that plane
And when the other day innocent bodies of people and babies were falling out of the sky
And when the belongings of these dead people are getting stolen by people who are cruel and heartless
And when flying on an airplane is supposed to be a hopeful and happy thing, but nowadays is terrifying and dangerous
And when countless innocent people are getting killed just because they are living on the wrong strip of land at the wrong time
I feel terrible about the thoughts that go through my head at times like this about wanting to die
When someone in the world dies every couple of seconds and when babies are dying because they are hungry and sick and when there are diseases and natural disasters and terrorist attacks that wipe out thousands of people in an instant
I just feel so terribly self absorbed and selfish for not being able to look at the Bigger Picture

My dad causes this big ominous terror to spread through the house and has this big dramatic tantrum and then just goes back to sleep lol wow awesome

And it astounds me how terrible my coping strategies are
My brother made a mistake that is going to cost thousands of dollars, and got screamed at by my dad, and got bombarded with this list of his flaws (((bc my dad holds grudges and slaps you in the face with the whole collection of them when he’s angry))) and got a disappointed talk from my mom, and I was so worried,
bc if I were him I would be feeling so awful I would want to kill myself
But he literally just said sorry to my mom and went upstairs to his room and watched Bobs Burgers until he fell asleep
And I’m not even the one who did anything wrong but I’m the one who’s lying on the bathroom floor crying and fighting back the urge to hurt herself and who has all these ugly thoughts about wanting to die running through her head
And honestly maybe the thing is that my brother is just so used to having my parents disappointed in him and he’s just numb to it now,
But what does this say about my coping skills
Clearly I have none
I’m just weak and a baby and I’m pathetic

I can’t wait to go to college and to not have to be around my dad anymore because he’s the most toxic thing in my life
But at the same time being away from home is just going to make me worry about my mom and my brother because theyre still going to have to deal with him
I wish I could just protect them from him forever, or that my parents could get a divorce and none of us would ever have to see him again, or that he would just stop existing

And that’s terrible to say, I know it is. My dad is a good guy usually, and I know that deep down I don’t mean these awful things I say, and that deep down I love him because he’s my father, but the bad times are so goddamn awful that they put everything else out of perspective

I would willingly die if it meant that I could take the pain away from everyone that I love.

The main reason my dad is so angry about what happened is because of all the expenses that are going to be involved but honestly
All of the financial problems that we go through are entirely his fault

He’s the one that spends several hundred dollars a week on weed and has been seeing a useless and manipulative psychiatrist on a weekly basis for more than half his life, who he pays god knows how much, and goes through packs and packs of cigarettes and as a result develops health problems that then require doctors and dentists who charge a lot of money and he’s the one that has subscriptions to newspapers and magazines that just end up in unread piles as tall as me

and he’s the one that is selfish and self absorbed and impossible to communicate with and who is so difficult and inflexible that he’s going to get fired in less than a year

and who “”“needs”” to get his car washed every other week but can’t seem to get our taxes done and who needed a smart phone even though he doesn’t even use it

And basically if you add up all of these expenses they account for literally all of our financial issues because honestly my mom spends virtually no money on herself, and my brother has a job and pays for everything himself, from clothes to school trips, and I spend basically no money at all, Like I don’t even buy clothes. 99% of the clothes I wear are either my moms old stuff or Thalia’s old stuff and honestly that’s fine bc its nice stuff and I know it’s very 1st world and selfish to think about it and I’m not even complaining, but

He’s angry about something that is completely his fault

My brother might have fucked up and caused damage that is going to cost a lot of money, but my dad has been doing damage for years, and we wouldn’t be this screwed if it werent for him